On 14th December 2012 at 11.11am something happened to me that I never thought would happen. I experienced love at first sight.
It was the most intense rush of feeling I have ever had and was completely unexpected.
At the time I was lying in an operating theatre, surrounded by nurses and doctors, my best friend by my side, and this little person was lifted out of me and the second I saw him it hit me.
I didn’t expect to feel that way at all. I knew I’d love my son, by I expected that love to grow not be that instant surge I’d heard about. I didn’t think that would happen to me.
I’d not had the typical pregnancy. To start with I spent the first 5 months of it, not knowing I was pregnant. Yes, really!
I also moved house (that’s always fun when you are 8 months pregnant and single) and was also spending 5 hours a day commuting up to the week before I gave birth.
Harrison was a little monkey even in my tummy. He was breech and I spent the most horrific day having an ECV procedure (where they try and turn the baby around). They’d warned me it would be ‘uncomfortable’. This was a blatant lie. It was horrifically painful (well I found it so). Oh and it didn’t work. Harrison wasn’t moving around for anyone. They then wouldn’t let me leave until they had a full 30 minutes record of his steady heartbeat. Well he wasn’t having that either. He kept moving, and the 30 minutes had to start again. In the end I ended up there for over 8 hours waiting for my little fidget to keep still. I wasn’t allowed food or drink during this whole time in case I needed an emergency C-section. I managed to read a whole paperback book in the time I was in there!
The thing I was most dreading about having a C-section was not being able to drive for 6 weeks afterwards. I feel anxious if my car is in for a service or repair, so the thought of not being able to drive for that period literally filled me with dread. People told me that I wouldn’t feel like driving afterwards. They were wrong! After about 2 weeks I was desperate to drive. Luckily my doctor and my insurance company agreed with me after about 4 weeks so I didn’t go completely mad!
My best friend picked me up early on the day of the operation and we headed to the hospital. After checking in etc our pain concern for some time was were a mysterious door led to. We thought Narnia. Maybe not, but it kept us amused and the nerves down.
Jo was amazing. She held Harrison before I did and was a fantastic support. She didn’t have it easy, as Harrison had a lovely exploding nappy full of meconium about an hour after being born which she had to deal with as I wasn’t in a fit state to do anything at that point. The nurse in the recovery room was fantastic. She started off trying to clean him with cotton wool as in her words ‘you shouldn’t use babe wipes on newborns’. However after about 2 minutes of unsuccessful cleaning she gave in and grabbed a wipe.
Of course for the next few days I did very little apart from stare at this unexpected miracle I’d made (and listen to the annoying woman in the bed opposite who appeared to ring literally everyone in her phone, to tell them in great details about her gory birth).
Without a doubt this was the best day of my life. Despite being in pain, being unable to move and being stuck in hospital (my least favourite place), setting eyes on my precious boy for the first time was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced.